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Negotiating the details of the open relationship is important throughout the communication process.

Topics that are commonly found in negotiations between couples include honesty, the level of maintenance, trust, boundaries and time management.

That is, unless you count my first boyfriend – José – who, in the second grade, long-distance collect-called me from Puerto Rico and got me in a lot of trouble with my dad. But I think it’s worth revisiting these concepts within the context of romantic or sexual relationships. And the way we practice our allyship in those contexts should reflect that.

So, whether you’re years deep in a charmingly fairy tale-esque romance with your beau or you’re just now firing up to dive into your first, here are seven things to remember as a white person involved with a person of color.

That’s racist.”Do they want you to be the liaison – or would they feel more comfortable speaking for themselves?


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