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My personal and professional experience has taught me that keeping sex alive involves maintaining your focus on pleasurable living versus industrious, beehive activity.This is a disciplined practice of sorts, like getting enough sleep.They wear it like a badge of honor despite the increased risks for error and the distraction it fuels.

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Being the best at the office, best at mothering, and best friend while working on having the best figure, home, and fashions shifts women’s priorities from the pleasures of intimate partnership to the demands of work, kids, friendships, and then maybe, and only if all else is done, their lover.

What’s really behind this and why is being the presumed “best” of anything so important to women, especially when it’s draining their desire for sex?

What I have discovered in my work is that women often have two primary ways by which they determine their self-worth on any given day.

The first is, “Have I had a good food and exercise day?

Even a cursory review of newsstands reveals something of a national agenda — if not obsession — with images that scream: I am so sexy and sexual, aren’t you?

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